AF is the most unpredictable and unreasonable in this world!!!
When you don't want or need her, she shows up! When you want her to come so very badly, she doesn't!
It's been 67 days! Bloody, 67 DAYS!!!! And no AF! I have now taken Meprate twice, with some Estradiol, but does she show up? No, no and no!
I want to get on with my life, I am not able to take this standstill, I-dont-know-what-I-am-supposed-to-do-now mode that I am in!
We so badly want to start with the next cycle of IUI. But after the sheer agony of understanding that I am not pregnant on CD42 with a BHCG, we want to proceed forward.
I don't know which is bad...knowing that you are not pregnant or this limbo which you fall in where there is nothing but the stupid waiting for your AF to show up!!!!!!
Me and DH are getting into unnecessary arguments, too much of tears, too much of frustration, too much of...well there is no getting around it, I have to say it again, "AGONY"!
I feel like giving up, I don't think I can take all this any more. I don't think I can stand being not able to do anything until this AF shows up anymore. I can't take another BFN, I can't take any more disappointments...
We are not able to decide on ANYTHING! On my last call with my mother, she asked if we are visiting her this summer...can we make a decision on that? No...after all we never know when all this regimen will start and how it will end...so, what do I tell her? It's such a simple question, right? You should be able to plan for it in your life, but no, I am not able to!
Atleast, this happened with my mother. My team in office wanted to plan for a weekend getaway, was I able to give them a straight answer? NO! Why? Again, the same reason, I never know what might happen on that day! For all I know my IUI might fall on that day!
Oh God! I really don't know how to survive like this! One baby - one beautiful, healthy, precious miracle, that's all I ask!
Do you know those moments when your heart just keeps breaking into tiny million pieces every moment, but you have to go on in life as if everything is rosy and nice? I am going through it right now, after all you cannot explain this to people who don't have problems, they will simply say. try again! As if!!!!!!!!!! And DH is suffering even more. Every week he gets some or the other news about his friends having babies, about to get babies...making another baby...poor him!
I have a friend (like me) who is going through the same thing...I think its high time I called and vent out my frustrations a little...no one like another infertile to actually get you!
I am not even sure if someone's reading this, but if you are...please send some good wishes along my way...and a big serving of patience will help too!
When you don't want or need her, she shows up! When you want her to come so very badly, she doesn't!
It's been 67 days! Bloody, 67 DAYS!!!! And no AF! I have now taken Meprate twice, with some Estradiol, but does she show up? No, no and no!
I want to get on with my life, I am not able to take this standstill, I-dont-know-what-I-am-supposed-to-do-now mode that I am in!
We so badly want to start with the next cycle of IUI. But after the sheer agony of understanding that I am not pregnant on CD42 with a BHCG, we want to proceed forward.
I don't know which is bad...knowing that you are not pregnant or this limbo which you fall in where there is nothing but the stupid waiting for your AF to show up!!!!!!
Me and DH are getting into unnecessary arguments, too much of tears, too much of frustration, too much of...well there is no getting around it, I have to say it again, "AGONY"!
I feel like giving up, I don't think I can take all this any more. I don't think I can stand being not able to do anything until this AF shows up anymore. I can't take another BFN, I can't take any more disappointments...
We are not able to decide on ANYTHING! On my last call with my mother, she asked if we are visiting her this summer...can we make a decision on that? No...after all we never know when all this regimen will start and how it will end...so, what do I tell her? It's such a simple question, right? You should be able to plan for it in your life, but no, I am not able to!
Atleast, this happened with my mother. My team in office wanted to plan for a weekend getaway, was I able to give them a straight answer? NO! Why? Again, the same reason, I never know what might happen on that day! For all I know my IUI might fall on that day!
Oh God! I really don't know how to survive like this! One baby - one beautiful, healthy, precious miracle, that's all I ask!
Do you know those moments when your heart just keeps breaking into tiny million pieces every moment, but you have to go on in life as if everything is rosy and nice? I am going through it right now, after all you cannot explain this to people who don't have problems, they will simply say. try again! As if!!!!!!!!!! And DH is suffering even more. Every week he gets some or the other news about his friends having babies, about to get babies...making another baby...poor him!
I have a friend (like me) who is going through the same thing...I think its high time I called and vent out my frustrations a little...no one like another infertile to actually get you!
I am not even sure if someone's reading this, but if you are...please send some good wishes along my way...and a big serving of patience will help too!
