Waiting...waiting and waiting...

Still no AF. Still lots of CM, and since yesterday having this feeling that I am having AF and I run to the bathroom and check and its nothing. No boob-symptoms :-P But, "I" feel as if that I have some spidery veins going around and of course I have extremely dry and itchy breasts. This "spidery" thing though, I want my DH to say it. So, he is coming back today from his trip (Oh, thank God!) and I don't want to tip him and want him to say it himself. Let's see...

Am I pregnant? BFN two days back, but still no AF and I mean, its been 38 days, it is CD39 today. Don't know what to think. I do know that DH is extremely hopeful this time. I haven't told him about the BFNs.

And, oh yes, before I forget: That friend of mine who is 22 weeks along and having that complications, its all fine now. It was a false alarm, no worries! The deposit is very less and kidney enlargement is nothing to worry about...so its all good.

Now, I am just worried about me...and if I do get my AF soon, I really don't know how I will cope with it! We are thinking of going to my RE this Friday, so that we can do a blood test and be done with it!

Anxious...

DPO22 (CD37) and still no AF. Should I start rejoicing? Apparently not - BFN again in the HPT.

What is happening, seriously! Either AF has to be here already, or wonder of wonders, I should be pregnant - neither seem to be happening, though!

In midst of all these, one of my friends in Office didn't turn up for work today. She is around 22 weeks along and had her Anamoly ultrasound scheduled recently and they found some complications with the baby! :-( Some Calcium deposit in the heart and left kidney seems to be slightly enlarged...and she is out of her mind with worry. Her Gyn has asked her to get another opinion from another Doctor. Now, we are all hoping and praying that nothing untoward happens and she gets back fine with her baby.

Cliched though it might sound, life is such a roller coaster ride! There is just no warning before you go up or down!

Feeling down...

Is there anyway that you can stop yourself from going crazy during your 2WW? I am right now, over the edge!

Did a HPT last night - DPO16 and this morning - DPO17: BFN

And totally down because of it!

DH is away this week and I didn't tell him that I have tested (didn't want to upset him as well) and was just bawling a little about how negative I am feeling...

Dr.Google suggests that BFN on DPO17 is not a very positive sign (ha, ha!)

So...why isn't AF here, already? Now, I am going crazy with, "may be I am pregnant, but not enough HCG for the kit to pick it up", "kit is faulty (yeah, right!)" and what not!

Now, I am going to leave it until  DPO21 and then may be test. Hmm, let me see if I can hold up until then!

Going crazy

What does 2WW do to you? Drive you crazy, that's what!

Of course, it is not without its share of symptoms (when is it ever?)

Having irrational amount of CM, flashes of head aches, permanent lower back ache in the evenings and dead tired, no, I am not kidding. I sleep 9 to 10 hours and still feel sleepy the whole day! Until the day before yesterday, I was not hungry at all, and suddenly from yesterday, I have been consuming way too much food.

Too much of Googling keeps giving me hopes...its 16DPO today - assuming that I did ovulate on 3rd Feb like I assumed I did, because of the Ovulation bleeding.

Keeping my fingers cross!

Uhmm...Ovulation?!?!

Ok, so we are trying naturally this time. And like one idiot, I had to go ahead and actually purchase one of those Ovulation test kits. And then on 1st Feb, I actually tried to test: it was the 13th day of the cycle and well I figured I can test anyway. It came back as negative - huge disappointment and we decided not to test anymore. "Let's just try!" became the motto.

On Sunday, there I am about to take a shower, and I see that I am bleeding! Got the shock of my life! Can a cycle last only for 15 days was the first question that came to my mind. With too much terror I Googled and wow, will you believe it, apparently you can have bleeding when you ovulate or about to ovulate around the mid of the cycle - between 12th to 16th day!

Taking this as a good sign and trusting that I have ovulated (without pills, wow!!!) we are proceeding with way too much hope this cycle.

Of course, I do understand that just because you ovulate you wont get pregnant...who am I kidding?!!! I am having way too much hope this time! Oh God, just please, please, please, let it work out this time!!!!!